Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
