I just pynch a tree in the face
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
