like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You can't just leave with hair like that
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
