hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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