Non-Jews are for practice
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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