no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
