Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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