Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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