At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
