I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
