And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
