Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
