The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
