i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Your tits are I can't wait for
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
