i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
