we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize