My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
In America we eat man semen.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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