today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The adults are the big ones right?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
