i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
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