no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
