Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
