Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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