I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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