im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
People in love make me want to vomit
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
