i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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