I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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