I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just had sex bonerless
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
