I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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