We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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