I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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