It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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