wat bout pragnant strippers??
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
