hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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