I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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