I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
