Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
