Im at strip club and am horny
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
