she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
