# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
