WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
cat food counts as protein by the way
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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