No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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