i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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