I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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