You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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