this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize