It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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