I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
