well you can't waste a boner
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
