Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
