even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We left the knife in your bed.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
