I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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