its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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