my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
