And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
