What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
