I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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