only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
